I’m not very Social (Seriously!)

LEGO Toy Story

You may find this hard to believe, but I’m not very social. I know what you’re thinking! I post all these fun pictures that make me look outgoing! Plus, you know how even my “condensed versions” of stories or blog posts are still pretty long, so clearly I have a lot to say, right? Yes, I do! I love, love, love writing! In fact, I almost forgot how much I love it until I started writing on here again. (I have started finishing my books I started so long ago as well!) One of my favorite memories in college is a one-on-one meeting with my English professor. She was awesome. I distinctly remember her questioning my major (International Business) when I clearly had such a passion for writing. Well, she was right. I never did get my business degree because I wasn’t motivated to continue when times got tough. It really was NOT my passion. That truly is another story, though.

Do you want to know another favorite college memory? Being a DJ for the radio station. It wasn’t just a little radio station, either. It had a pretty decent reach! My DJ name was “Bijou Burke.” I also helped as part of the sports team in the background at basketball games to give the commentators the up-to-date stats and as a reporter for regular updates on air. It was awesome!

I also really enjoy public speaking. Give me a topic that I love and I can talk for hours, but we covered that, right? Haha Sure, I feel nervous, and I say “um” or “uh” a lot, but I love it! I’m really passionate when I write AND when I talk! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people ask me if I’m a performer, actress, public speaker, etc. when I would speak in front of people in “regular” situations like when I used to do group dog training classes or when I would introduce myself in a group situation and share a little about myself and my family. People tell me they loved hearing me speak because I’m so expressive.

So, hold on…

Isn’t this post supposed to be about how I’m NOT very social?

Yes. Here is the irony of it all. I’m getting ready for my first blog conference this summer, and I’m a little nervous! I truly am NOT very good at socializing. Put me in front of paper, a computer, on the radio, on TV, in front of a crowd of people, etc. and it’s a beautiful thing. Put me IN a crowd of people, and I freeze. It’s the one on one thing I’m not so good at. I know it’s partially because of my SPD because it is sensory overload for me. Proximity is different when you’re next to someone versus being in front of a crowd. Plus, back and forth conversation is harder for me when there is background noise whereas if I’m speaking I am totally focused on just what I’m saying, so the anxiety level is actually lower.

Beyond that, I can’t explain it. I’m just not good at going up and saying “hi” to people. Crazy, right? I will just stand there looking like a lost puppy and not say a single word to anyone unless someone approaches me. Even saying this it seems beyond ridiculous! Clearly, I won’t allow this to happen at the conference because I’m not going there to stand around looking lost, but I’m going to have to really give myself a pep talk to get over my social awkwardness and make some great connections – and hopefully new friends!





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Comments

  1. Yeah, I guess I should mention that when I do warm up then I do talk up a storm, but it’s the getting warmed up part that is REALLY hard for me!

  2. jennifer says

    I am not good with large crowds either until I get warmed up a little. I have never liked speaking in front of groups of people either.

  3. Cindy Brickley says

    I’m okay in large crowds and I do talk alot. I always seem to find something to talk about.

  4. yes when you wrote a book in elementary school and read it. that was your talent. I knew you coud write and read in front of an audience. You were great!! 🙂

  5. I feel for you,I am not a social person at all. All the socializing I do is pretty much when I have no choice and have to. I wish I could give you advise on how to solve it but I have been this way all my life and still can’t figure out how to get over it.

  6. This is a perfect illustration of how there are different categories of “people skills.” It’s possible to be great at working a room but terrible at public speaking, and introverted people are frequently the reverse! It’s not crazy at all to have trouble approaching people in a crowd- it’s a skill. 🙂

  7. I am sooo not social either in most settings. The weird thing is that if I’m in a grocery store, I can talk to almost anyone “oh, that yogurt? It’s really good. You’ll like it”. “oh, the weather is turning so cold . If I’m at a party or “social gathering” and I don’t know anyone, I usually clam up and feel left out. I’m pretty outgoing on social media though. Weird.

  8. I;m not social myself. i’m kind of shy when it comes to being around alot of people..I’m trying to break out of it, maybe someday i will…i can’t speak infront of alot of people like you did..i give you credit for that…thank you for sharing.

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