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A "Real" Man

October 18, 2012 by Emilee Evans

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My husband often gets poked fun at or questioned about his choices because he’s a man of God. He’s experienced everything from people trying to talk him into going to “gentlemen’s clubs” to people trying to get him to look at their pictures of pornography/nude women. I’m also somewhat shocked (and extremely sad and disappointed) that this is the “normal” of our society now. Not only that people are doing these things but also shoving them in others’ faces like it is a big joke when what it really is, is a serious problem. Sadly, many of these men are Christians as well, and the fact that they aren’t feeling convicted for their behavior and worse, for trying to bring their friends into their sin, is very troubling to me!
Something was said the other day to my husband that made me laugh out loud – literally. I’m not talking about typing LOL when you’re not actually laughing at all. I’m talking about if I had been drinking something I would have spit it everywhere! Some guys were talking about a pretty music star which my husband overheard. He (being the bold man that he is) told them they’re disgusting. (I’m not condoning the words he may use, but he says that’s why I’m the writer because I’m better with words! Haha) They asked him if he seriously wouldn’t “want to see her naked.” Of course, his response was “of course not” to which they agreed “he must not even be a man.” When he said that I really did bust up laughing! Overall, it’s not funny that it’s how these men think because I do think it’s a reflection of our culture now, but I laughed because not only do I wholeheartedly disagree but I would actually say quite the opposite. My husband was the ONLY one among them that was a man!
I know what you’re thinking – he’s your husband, so of course you feel that way. Or you may even agree with our backwards culture that if a man isn’t interested in seeing naked women other than his wife or pornography he isn’t a “man.” I’d love for you to get into this more deeply and look at what a “man” is by God’s definition. You will see it is quite the opposite!
Of course, men ARE visual and more physically driven, and that IS how God created them to be – WITH THEIR WIFE. In a marriage we were designed to complement each other. Men feel loved when their physical needs are met, and women feel loved if their emotional needs are met. If a man is spending his visually driven drive on things other than his wife he is not meeting her needs. He can’t. Not only will it be harder for him to be intimate with her (because now he’s addicted to visual stimulation and actually begins to NEED it) but he also won’t have his needs met as well if his wife starts to feel unloved and undesired. It can become a vicious circle.

Real Man
Photo Credit (and great post): http://ascofuatwork.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/ten-commandments-for-men/

The strength in commitment. Sure, in today’s culture it’s hard to avoid because as I mentioned you even have others trying to shove it in your face, but it’s possible, and it takes a MAN to overcome that weakness. See, addiction is a weakness. (And if you know someone that needs help, there is help out there!) Isn’t strength often something we relate to masculinity? If men were made to be strong than how can such a weakness be viewed as defining a man? Yes, quite the opposite is true. A “real man” is strong and keeps his commitment to his wife and, in turn, provides a Godly example to his sons to become strong men of commitment as well.
Leadership. I think this is a big one. God designed men to be the Spiritual leaders of their home. If they are focusing on worldly standards rather than God’s standards they are failing their family, and they are passing those standards to their children. To lead you must also protect. Lust is a form of adultery, and if a man is just giving in to the world’s definition of a man he is just inviting sin right in the door! A “real man” is the leader of his home and will fight to protect his family.
Pursuing. God designed men to pursue. They should constantly be pursuing a relationship with Him. Letting worldly ideas in is shutting Him out. Men were also designed to pursue their wife. Just her. They are meant to be our knight in shining armor. I don’t know about the other ladies out there, but I surely need rescuing over and over again! If a man is pursuing more than one beauty his efforts will be lost and he will be unfulfilled because he can never be successful. The same is true of pursuing worldly ideas and a relationship with God at the same time as well.
A book I love and recommend is Wild at Heart Revised & Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul
I think it’s really important to know the difference between what the world says a man is and what God says a man is. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful, Godly husband, and yes, I recognize how blessed I am and am extremely grateful! Maybe you don’t have that, but God can heal the broken! If you need prayer I am always available for prayer and support.
A message for men:
Christian men – STAND UP! God is calling you to lead! Stop doing as the world says and do what He says! Men ARE getting “soft!” Look how they outnumbered my husband in that scenario. Maybe not all of them truly felt that way, but they didn’t stand up and argue it either! Lead the way you were created to lead! Defend your commitment to your wife and defend and protect your family! Somebody has to and God has called YOU!
 
 

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Filed Under: Faith, Family Tagged With: commitment, Godly man, men, prayer, pursuing God, Real man, Spiritual Leader, Wild at Heart, worldly views

Comments

  1. Mary Daniels says

    October 18, 2012 at 5:20 am

    Very well said and encouraging. Thank you!!!!

  2. Laurel Klem says

    December 15, 2012 at 2:08 am

    It’s nice to see people have values still and that you’re NOT afraid to let people know that God is in your every day life. Good for you and your husband!

    • Emilee Roberts says

      January 7, 2013 at 10:14 pm

      Thank-you!

  3. Home Grown Families says

    December 28, 2012 at 12:48 am

    This is SO on point!!! I love this! I really wish more men were like your husband~ who, you’re right, was the only “man” in that situation. I HATE what society, media, Hollywood has done to our men. 🙁
    I love this!! I’m pinning and tweeting!

    • Emilee Roberts says

      January 7, 2013 at 10:13 pm

      I do, too! THanks for sharing!

  4. Karina - Mom in the USA says

    December 28, 2012 at 10:20 am

    I’m blessed enough to have a husband like yours. It is the best feeling in the world to have a man like that. We have daughters and that’s what he reminds his fellow guys – is that how you want someone talking about your daughter? This is a fantastic post. Thank you.

    • Emilee Roberts says

      January 7, 2013 at 10:13 pm

      Exactly! That’s a great reminder!

  5. Debby Chandler says

    December 29, 2012 at 9:25 am

    I don’t know how people function in this world if they don’t have faith in God. I know God has a plan for me even though some of his decisions were very hard to accept. But he has always taken care of me even through some of the worse times of my life.

    • Emilee Roberts says

      January 7, 2013 at 10:12 pm

      Definitely!

  6. Vicki Hale says

    February 23, 2013 at 1:55 pm

    I was married to a preachers son, so I know some of what you are talking about. Keep running the good race!

  7. Kathy Buchanan Smith says

    February 25, 2013 at 11:18 am

    This is a great post. Through faith and the love of God all is possible. I enjoy reading your blog, Thanks

    • Emilee Roberts says

      June 22, 2013 at 4:09 pm

      Thank-you!

  8. Renee Patterson Travis says

    March 23, 2013 at 4:03 pm

    All my Faith is in God. I have been through some horrible things in my life, but my God Almighty has seen me though all of them. I couldn’t imagine my life without HIM!

    • Emilee Roberts says

      June 22, 2013 at 4:10 pm

      Exactly! I can’t either!

  9. JJ Caraway says

    April 10, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    I am so blessed to have a marriage where GOD is first in our lives. My husband is my best friend and it is till death do we part.

    • Emilee Roberts says

      June 22, 2013 at 4:09 pm

      That is awesome! (Sorry for the late reply I’m just now seeing some of the comments for some reason!)

  10. Rose Bush says

    September 9, 2013 at 9:47 pm

    Yes, you are & likewise. Thing is “we’ know that some are called to lead & others to follow. We’re blessed & highly favored is all, that they ‘chose’ us.

    • Emilee Roberts says

      September 9, 2013 at 9:56 pm

      Definitely!

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