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Why it's Important for Kids to Understand the Definition of Friend

February 20, 2016 by Emilee Evans

From the time our kids are still little we emphasize the importance of knowing all about strangers. Who they are, what you should and shouldn’t do with and around strangers, etc. But what about friends? When it comes to kids understanding friends, there is often this gray area between strangers and friends, which then leads to a gray area on what is OK and not OK when it comes to those that fall in this area. This isn’t a deep, philosophical post about our adult understanding of what is a “true friend” versus an acquaintance. This is about young children. It’s about our kids understanding where that line is drawn between the gray area and friends. Why? Because it often is unclear but it really matters!
As a mom of special needs children, I try to be extra cautious when it comes to strangers, friends, etc. especially with our oldest who is on the Autism Spectrum and has a harder time with comprehending relationships. When we had a scary incident this summer with our daughter, though, who has a pretty good grasp on this (or at least we thought), I realized we’re not always so clear on what a “friend” really is.
Kids Understanding Friends - Why it is Important for them to Understand the Definition
We were at the park with a group of friends, and most of the kids were going to play T-Ball. She asked me if she could play with her friends over there and points to where they’re playing T-Ball. She is at an age where it’s OK to go and play with friends, so I say yes, of course, assuming she’s referring to our friends over there. When we were getting ready to leave and I couldn’t find her anywhere, my heart dropped. I was terrified! She was a little farther down with a group of girls I’ve never seen before. Sure they looked like they were having fun, but I was asking why in the world she wasn’t with our friends. When she explained she was with her friends, I was shocked. She just met them! What made her think they were her friends?
Her answer? They were playing on the playground, and they were nice to her.
I fear this misunderstanding was caused by something we’ve also done since our kids were young, and something I often see other parents do as well. In fact, it’s in their books and on TV shows. The message we often send is that a friend is a child they’ve met somewhere and got along with. In fact, I’d even venture to say many shows and books even refer to other children as “friends” just to encourage being nice. Why can’t we encourage our kids to be nice to others without calling them “friends?”
I look back and think of all the times I said, “Did you say bye to your new friend?” Then I wonder why they consider someone they just met their friend? Adults they just meet are strangers but kids they just met are friends? I feel like that’s the message we’ve been sending. What about their parents or whoever they may be with? We don’t know them, and they are still strangers.
We’re so blessed everything was OK, but the thoughts that ran through my head were terrifying. As a parent, it’s hard not to beat ourselves up for mistakes, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t learn from our mistakes – and even the mistake of others. It’s always hard to put ourselves out there, but if my experience will help others realize they may be making a similar mistake, it is worth sharing it.

Kids Understanding Friends

We truly need to think about it. What message are we sending? I definitely learned the hard way we’ve been sending a message that is completely unclear. There is a gray area in between strangers and friends, and it’s important that we make that very clear to our children. Call it what you prefer – acquaintance or even “buddy” (though make it clear there is a difference between a “buddy” and a “friend.”). Then set boundaries on what is OK and not OK with them.
Some healthy boundaries may include things like: It’s OK to talk and play with them while under your supervision, and It’s OK to ask us to talk to their parents about getting to know them better by getting their contact information and planning get togethers. After all, we would ultimately love if they do make new friends!
So what defines friends? Perhaps your definition may be more or less strict as ours, but some general guidelines we’ve shared with our kids are:

  • You aren’t meeting them for the first time. Meeting someone for the first time automatically means they aren’t a friend. Friendships (and the trust that goes along with it) aren’t built in a day.
  • You know their name (and we know their parents’ names). Our kids aren’t very good at remembering names, so this may not be applicable for most, but if our kids know their names, it means we’ve interacted with them pretty frequently, but it’s important that we know their parents as well!
  • We have some way to contact them. Although I’m not a “phone person,” phone is definitely the best contact information to have. Besides, most people can text now! 😉

Whatever you decide works for your family, I can’t stress enough how important it is for kids to truly understand what a friend is and to have appropriate boundaries based on how well you know them. It may seem innocent enough for kids to call all other kids their friends, but it’s important to remember this can be confusing and ultimately unsafe. It’s important to remember – it’s not just about the kids – we really need to know their parents as well!
How do you help your children distinguish between a friend and an acquaintance?

Keep Kids Entertained in the Car

June 3, 2015 by Emilee Evans

We’ve been in the car a lot lately. We took a trip over to Chicago, which could be a 5 hour drive, but if you have to go through Chicago like we did, it added another 2 hours! Most of the other drives are only an hour one way, but that hour can be exhausting when kids aren’t entertained! It’s not always easy to keep kids entertained in the car, though! We have a DVD player, but I am always looking for ways to keep the kids entertained that doesn’t involve screen time!
Keep Kids Entertained in the Car
Disclosure: I received complimentary products to facilitate my review. Regardless, all opinions are my own.
Insure my Rental Car has put together a variety of great travel games to play in the car. They make it easy and convenient to put together a great pack of resources by simply printing out a variety of games! There are a total of 6 different in-car activities that are fun and easy to play and, best of all, they’re free! You not only don’t have to come up with activities yourself – but you can get them for no cost as well!
For my review, I received an entertainment pack including the activities available for printing. I would definitely recommend putting together an activity pack like this to make a complete activity pack! The “extras” are easy! Be sure you have a big folder to keep all the printable activities as well as crayons, pencils or pens, a clip board, and any extra activities you’d like to include! This travel pack also included a great CD of Disney songs, which turned out to be a big hit!
For a CD, be sure to include a CD of fun, catchy songs to which the kids can sing along! By the time we got to Chicago, all three kids knew the songs because they just wanted to keep listening to them! Listening to music is great because it’s something they can do “in the background” while they’re going other activities as well!
Disney Soundtracks Collection
As for the printed activities, the kids LOVED them! Their particular favorite was the Car Bingo. After getting a “Bingo,” though, they decided they wanted to keep going and fill up the whole card. We laughed because the last thing our son needed was sheep, and we weren’t exactly driving in a rural area, yet we drove right beside a truck of sheep, and one of them was sticking its head out! Ha! I love that the activities were not only entertaining for them, but it created a memorable experience for the whole family!
In addition to Car Bingo in which you fill a space on your Bingo sheet based on things you see, other activities include:

  • The Alphabet Game – look for different objects that begin with that letter.
  • Consequences – take turns drawing a section of a person/creature’s body, folding the page as they go. Once completed, unfold the paper to reveal your creation!
  • Car Search – look for as many car manufacturers as you can & match them to the manufacturer’s logos on the sheet.
  • Traffic Jam – a color race to the finish.
  • Plate Hunt – spot as many number plates from the different States as possible.

The kids had a blast with all the games! So be sure to head over and print your free travel games today and add them to your activity folder. Once you use up a game, simply print a new one and add it the folder!
Where will you be traveling this year?

Birthday Fun with a Mario Birthday Party

May 9, 2015 by Emilee Evans

Both of our boys have their birthdays at the end of April, so we often have one big birthday party to celebrate. Sometimes we have to find some middle ground on what we choose for a theme, but there was no question that this year we were going to have a Mario Birthday Party!
Mario Brothers Birthday Party
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Regardless, I only recommend products I feel would be good for my readers.
So I started my search for Mario Brothers party supplies and a cake and some ideas for things to do at the party. I feared I may have waited too long to get the party supplies but quickly discovered I was going to have to order them online because none of our local stores carried any! Luckily, Amazon had just what I was needing! I always think ordering on Amazon is convenient and easy! I quickly found a great Super Mario Brothers Pack. I was even able to get party favor boxes, centerpieces and corresponding party favors! It really made it easy! We had everything we needed to throw a party! Woo hoo!
Finding a cake proved to be a little challenging, but after checking out all the chain retail stores we decided to check out a local bakery. We were in love with the cake we purchased from Buggy Whip Bakery. It was half chocolate, half vanilla and had a unique look with coins, stars, and mushrooms. I love that it was so unique! Our younger son particularly loved eating the icing and decorations. I think the cake overall added a great, unique look to our party!
Mario Birthday Party Cake
Despite finding a Mario Pinata locally I still wanted to add a little extra flare and fun, so I decided to create a Question Mark Box one of the boys could punch Mario style to release more candies and goodies! I mean, it’s a celebration after all, so more candy and toys is welcome!

Making the Mario Birthday Party Question Mark Box

What You Will Need
Square Cardboard Box
Yellow Wrapping Paper
White Paper or Foam Sheet
Scotch Tape
Scissors
To make the Question Mark Box I started with just a cardboard box I grabbed from around the house. I made sure it was square in shape to be sure to fit the look. Then, I cut off the top and filled it with the goodies.
Mario Party Question Mark Box
After it was filled I took the yellow wrapping paper and started by covering the opening. My husband made a comment that perhaps should have made the folding over the opening so they would be at the top and bottom, but because a child would be punching the bottom, it needs to be stretched tight over that are so when it is punched the goodies can easily come out without any issues! So be sure you pull the wrapping paper tight over the opening.
Question Mark Box
Then I continued to wrap the box very much like wrapping a present. Finish it and tape it just like a present!
Then it’s time to add the question marks! We cut the question marks using a paper cutter, but scissors would work just fine. Once you cut one question mark you can use it as a guide for the other three to ensure they all look the same. We used plain white paper, but if I hadn’t been sick that week I would have gotten foam sheet because I believe that would really make it stand out!
Mario Party Question Mark Box Pinata Substitute
Voila! You now have a fun pinata substitute that is easy to make, fits the Mario theme perfectly, and is FUN! Of course, only one child can do this, so I would reserve it for the birthday boy or girl. In our case, since there were two, we gave our youngest the option to do it, but he wanted his big brother to do it instead. He had so much fun, and then there were lots of extra goodies for the kids to put in their mini Question Mark Boxes!
Mario Party Question Mark Box Fun
You really don’t have to have a huge party to have a blast. We had just a few family and friends – around 15 people total including our family of five, and it was great! We topped it off with some pizza from our favorite pizza place, Heavenly Pizza. We were going to have a cookout, but it was cold and rainy. I think pizza was ultimately a great choice, though, because it fits well with the theme, and it’s easy!
Top top off some indoor fun, we ran a small, simple bubble machine. A cardboard frog with an open mouth for a little beanbag toss. The most fun, though? Balloons! We opted to buy a disposable helium tank, and that was a great idea and HUGE hit! Not only do balloons make great decorations, but kids LOVE them! I let each child pick a color and have their own balloon! Overall, everybody had a great time!
Birthday Fun
Because we want to make sure each boy feels extra special on their actual birthdays as well, we budget for a big party but also don’t go HUGE so we can also give them a little treat on their respective birthdays as well! I was excited to find a great list of places that give you free stuff on your birthday because it helped us have a great birthday party and make sure they each had a special day on their birthday as well!
What have been some of your favorite birthday party themes?
 

Sensory Bin Round Up

March 14, 2015 by Emilee Evans

AffiliateAs a mom with three special needs children I am always looking for activities to encourage fine-motor skills, imaginative play, exploration. Sensory bins offer this while offering an opportunity to explore different textures. This is great for both young children as well as special needs children. It’s important to note, though, that sensory bins are not intended to replace therapy, but they are a great activity to supplement it! In fact, our children’s Occupational Therapists gave us some of the best ideas for sensory bins!
Sensory Bin Round Up
The best thing about sensory bins is you can get as creative as you want! Sensory bins can be put together from items around the home or you can get creative with a theme! If you have children with special needs like ours you may need to take into account what their texture likes and dislikes are. Offer something that may challenge their senses without overwhelming them. Some of our favorite sensory bins start with simple objects like pompoms.
Sensory Bins Round Up
Some of my favorite bloggers have shared some amazing sensory bin ideas and resources! Here are a few!

Sensory Bin Round Up

Straight Lines Sensory Bin Golden Reflections Blog has shared an amazing pre-writing activity for kids with the straight lines sensory bin. I love this idea! This sensory bin includes a variety of straight tools like pencils (unsharpened), crayons, pipe cleaners, dowel sticks, uncooked noodles, and more! This is a great bin for little learners to introduce them to straight lines and pre-writing skills. Check out the full details below!
Pre-writing Activities for Kids Sensory Bin
Sensory Bins for Beginners Are you new to sensory bins? Simply Vicki has shares sensory bins for beginners. She shares her apprehensions and why and how she got started as well as a link to ideas, Pinterest boards, materials, and more!
Alphabet Sensory Bin Adventures in Mindful Living has shared a fun Alphabet Sensory Bin, which is perfect for little learners who are learning their letters! It is simple to make, and she has shared some great learning activities to go along with it!
Alphabet Sensory Bin
Farm Theme Unit The Chaos and the Clutter has many great ideas for sensory bins. One of my favorites is the Farm Theme Unit. I love how she included a Sensory Bin in her unit study!

Sensory Bins

Sharla Kostelyk from The Chaos and the Clutter has written a great book – Sensory Bins: the What, the How, & the Why. Whether you are new to Sensory Bins or are looking for new ideas, at just $2.99 it’s a great resource for anyone wanting to use sensory bins! It includes idea lists, helpful recipes, storage and money saving tips, and even information on using sensory bins with Sensory Processing Disorder. As a mom with children with SPD (and someone who has SPD myself) I definitely appreciate this!
Sensory Bins book
Are you new to sensory bins? Do you use sensory bins and have some great ideas to share? Please share in the comments!
 
 

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