It’s been quite an abnormal week for us between the little guy’s sleep study, his bad luck since (a cut on his hand one day then falling face first on our linoleum floors today – poor guy!), my exhaustion since the sleep study, and weaning. Yes, after much back and forth between my heart and mind we had started weaning this past week.
I have to be honest, I REALLY struggled with this! I truly believe in child-led weaning when possible, and though I was getting the typical “he hasn’t weaned yet?!” I knew in my heart I was doing the right thing. Chaz is 30 months now – 2 1/2, and he has been Breastfeeding the longest. Because of his Sensory Processing Disorder he found comfort in Breastfeeding that nothing else could give him! It was his “reset” so to speak. I knew weaning wouldn’t be easy even though I planned on letting him lead. I had read other stories of moms having a hard time weaning their toddler with SPD.
Well, something I didn’t expect happened. I’ll spare the details and just say I started having A LOT of pain while Breastfeeding and wasn’t sure I could continue! It was more than just pain – there were physical signs of the pain. It was awful. I’ve had thrush, clogged ducts, and even mastitis a few times, but this was still so awful! My head said “you have to stop NOW,” and my heart said “you can’t just stop suddenly!”
I tried really hard to follow my heart, but the pain was too much. The first few days were heartbreaking for me, but with each day it got a little better. I knew I would give in at the sleep study, and I did. He needed me, and the pain was worth it in that moment to be there for him in a way only I could. After that he never asked for it again! I don’t know if it was because he now associated it with that type of experience because I said yes in that moment instead of no or if my milk has already mostly dried up.
Either way, it is bittersweet knowing he’s our last and has weaned. My heart doesn’t ache as much, though, wondering if it was the right thing to do. I feel much better now knowing he is ok without Breastfeeding and is learning other ways to cope with the world that can be so overwhelming to him!
this post is so precious. Ezra is almost 26 months, still nursing 1-3 times a day. The longest he’s ever gone without is about 24 hours. I’m pretty much ready to be done (can we say lazy toddler latch?) and have been for a long time, but he still seems to REALLY need it. But, I’m going out of town this weekend for three whole days. I know that he will be fine, (excited that grandma is here)…A little part of me is hoping that this kick-starts the weaning process and maybe dries up the milk. On the other hand, I can see myself walking in the door to hear “uh, nurse?!?!” lol
Yeah, that was the problem I was having was the lazy latch – or the “sideways because I’m looking at the iPad” latch! haha It was causing visible “injuries.” It was really emotional for me because I almost felt selfish for wanting to stop, but the pain was awful, and the injuries were getting worse! I thought for sure he would keep asking to nurse after the sleep study, so I’m relieved he didn’t! And although it’s bittersweet, I am quite relieved!!
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wow i remember when i weaned my little one, I think I didn’t like it more than they did, I think I just didn’t want to feel that seperation, or knowing that they were growing up.. Thanks for shring.