I noted in another post that I’m really bad about comparing myself to others. I also mentioned I haven’t been feeling well, which makes me a little more emotional. In other words, I’m more apt to take things personally and get upset. It’s hard enough when you compare your work to others’ and feel like you fall short, but you have to learn to accept that you’re DIFFERENT. God made us to be different and celebrate our differences! This website IS my “work.” I’m working on getting my crafting business up and going again, and that will obviously be my work as well. But THIS, Pea of Sweetness, is ME. It’s what I love. I finally found something that even when I do feel like I fall short I’m not deterred from continuing my work. Many times when I feel like I’ve fallen short I really pray about what I’m doing because sometimes we aren’t walking the path we need to walk and we’re doing things that are counterproductive. So, it’s easy to say I need to walk away from it. I may be reluctant sometimes to let go, but I do for the benefit of my emotional health and my family. But not this. Not Pea of Sweetness. I do feel overwhelmed sometimes. I do have people question what I do – or in some cases tell me I do my work poorly. Ouch!
I’m not discouraged, though, because I can promise you this: I put my heart into this website. It is an extension of me. Everything I post from these personal posts, to reviews, to sharing about our ups and downs with parenting our special needs kids, to sharing our homeschooling journey has all of me in it. I work very hard to share my heart and make it the best it can be because I expect the same from my favorite blogs! The problem is, I have to work with what I have. I don’t have a good camera for video reviews (yet). I have a house with all linoleum floors that echoes terribly when I try to take videos. I have a large dog that tends to be in the way in both pictures and videos. I have 3 special needs children with unpredictable moods. I have my personal health issues, which can cause for days where I just can’t get myself to post something. There is so much more, too, but here is what I’m standing on: I do the best I can with what I have. I know it’s not perfect. I know some of it even has issues. If you realized how much time I put into it trying to fix those issues and making everything the best it can be you would know it’s not because I’m just sloppy or because I don’t care. I do, I REALLY do. I also care about sharing ME – the REAL me, my REAL family. The truth is we’re perfectly flawed! If I ever pull off a video review, pictures, or a video blog (which I still haven’t dared attempt because I already know my videos are lacking), and it’s not the best one you’ve ever seen will you take the time to appreciate the honesty in it – the realness of it? I don’t want to look and sound perfect because I’m not. I want to share who we are, and sometimes that means technical issues like background noise, little hands in the pictures (or a dog’s paw or cat’s tail), kids doing silly things or being grumpy, etc. As embarrassing as it is sometimes I take a lot of time to present it the best I can. If I had time right now, I would put together a bloopers and outtakes video so you could see what it would REALLY be like if I didn’t edit! haha Our finances aren’t so great right now because there have been some pay mistakes, and they have yet to give my husband the back pay he is owed. Our budget was already tight before this happened. I’m working on getting “better equipment” such as a better camera, better photo and video editing programs, perhaps even a graphics program, etc. Until then, though, just bear with me and enjoy the craziness that is our life! 🙂