With Valentine’s Day around the corner thoughts of romance are in the air. Although we really should be romantic with our husbands regularly, it’s a good reminder to be more conscious of how to be romantic with them. I know what you’re thinking. “It’s another post from someone who finds it easy to be romantic, and they can’t at all relate to someone like me who has a hard time being romantic.” I know because I’ve been there.
Yes, that’s right, being romantic is not easy for me. In fact, my husband likes to make jokes about how he always tries to be romantic and sometimes it goes over my head. Yeah, it’s that bad. Sure, as a little girl I always had dreams about meeting and marrying my knight in shining armor, and now that I’m here I realize that’s about as far as I got!
So I get it. It’s not easy. I’m right there with you! So let’s start taking steps together to be romantic more towards our husbands.
How to be Romantic
Every time you shop get him a little something he enjoys. Even if you have to write “something he likes” on your shopping list – do it. So often they just want to know we’re thinking about them. It doesn’t have to be anything big – maybe his favorite drink or snack. It’s a great way to make them feel special.
Make an MP3 List. The good old days of recording tapes and burning CD’s is gone, but there is always something romantic about making a playlist of your favorite love songs like on Amazon Prime Music. If love songs aren’t your strength, simply put together a playlist of songs you like to sing together or just any songs that remind you of him.
Cook his favorite meal or make his favorite drink. My husband joked that since I hadn’t made him a chai tea in a while it must mean I am not happy with him. Clearly he was joking (if you can’t tell, he jokes a lot), but it really did make me think about it. Making him a chai tea? Really? That’s romantic? Apparently so!
Show affection. I know this seems obvious, but for us “non romantic types” it can be hard! Showing affection just doesn’t come naturally to me. I acquired a special type of affection when I became a mom, but romantic affection? It’s still a struggle. I mentally have to remind myself to regularly give my husband hugs and kisses, but it’s so important! I challenge you to give him a hug and kiss at every goodbye and hello (and anything in between). You may have even done this early on in your marriage, but it’s a habit that should never die.
Send him pictures. No, I don’t mean those type of pictures (or at least they don’t have to be…). Get out the selfie stick and take a few selfies to send him when he’s out of the house. Even if you feel you don’t look your best, he will appreciate that you’re thinking of him.
Send him a letter. I know this one may sound a little strange if your husband isn’t away, but it’s a romantic way to express your feelings. We both still have all of our letters we wrote back and forth when he was in Basic Training, and we truly treasure them. We expressed our feelings through those letters better than we do with words in person. I think particularly for those of us that do struggle with romance, it is easier for us, in particular, to express ourselves in this way. So give it a go and maybe even spice it up with a scent you wear.
Go on a special date. We have been so blessed to have regular date nights since moving back to Ohio. What has happened, though, is we don’t always do anything fancy. We might go to the store (kid free shopping! Yay!) or dinner or maybe even a movie. Go on a special date, though. Get dressed up, do your hair and makeup nicely and do something special – even if it’s just around the house!
Pamper him. You know how we love to go to the spa? He probably does, too (but might not admit it)! Give him a massage, rub his feet, etc. Use some of your favorite essential oils for relaxation. Use all the things you have to pamper yourself to pamper him!
Ask him what he likes. There are so many ways to be romantic, but maybe you don’t know exactly what your husband finds romantic. That’s OK. It’s also OK to ask. Communication is key, and sometimes the best way to know how to be romantic with your husband is to simply ask him what he likes. You might be surprised what he says, and it may end up being easier than you think!
Kyle Idleman is the Teaching Pastor at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky, the fourth-largest church in America. Author of the award-winning and bestselling book, not a fan., and presenter of eight of City on a Hill’s curriculum series, he regularly speaks at conferences and events around the world. Kyle and his wife DesiRae have four children.