There is a phenomenon that started a couple of years ago that continues to put a burden on my heart. It all started with 50 Shades of Grey and snowballed into an epidemic of women turning to erotica. It doesn’t seem to discriminate between single women, married women, women of faith, moms, wives, etc. More movies came out to appeal to women’s fantasies including one coming up for the book that started this phenomenon.
I felt crushed. I was devastated that so many women were pulled in by it. The same thing that they say is “helping” their marriage is giving Satan a foothold to destroy it bit by bit – a slow fade. I didn’t know what to say, though. I didn’t know how to reach out with a loving heart and truly show my intentions to protect our marriages and not sounding judgmental.
Disclosure: I received a copy of the book compliments of Family Christian to facilitate my review. Regardless, all opinions are my own.

After reading Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman’s Heart by Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery, I have a renewed vigor to do just that, though – put my heart out there in order to save marriages. It opened my eyes to the dangers of erotica even more than I realized. It opened my eyes to the reason women are drawn to it – our innate desires.
Women have intimate desires. Many of us desire a strong man and a little excitement. Those desires are purposeful – within a marriage. When we take those desires outside of marriage (even in fantasy) we aren’t allowing our husband to be that man we desire. We fantasize about something that doesn’t belong to us and eventually a marriage that may have already been floundering now looks extremely pale in comparison to this fantasy relationship. According to Pulling Back the Shades this progressively gets worse!
Pulling Back the Shades truly speaks to the heart of women – whether you’ve been tempted by erotica, are heavily involved in it, or even stayed clear, it offers amazing insight. What are a woman’s desires? Why does it seem like some are unfulfilled? Are you expecting your husband to fill a longing meant for only God to fulfill? What are the dangers of erotica? These are all questions that are explored and answered.
They did a lot of research and interviewed many people, and it was so insightful, and even a little shocking! Pre-teen girls reading erotica and yes, marriages destroyed by it. They even got a comment from a man who claimed he felt “demasculated.” It’s so eye-opening!
I am still not sure I can write a post that expresses the burden of my heart, but I can definitely recommend this book.
Additionally, Pulling Back the Shades addresses intimacy in marriage. It’s a good thing! God designed it to be beautiful! Things like erotica and even our past taint intimacy in marriage, though.
I am going to be completely open here because I want you to understand the depth of this book. I didn’t come into my marriage pure. I know I am forgiven for my past, and I’ve worked hard to forgive myself, but there is something in Pulling Back the Shades that helped set me completely free – asking God to break the bonds from those relationships. Because it does create a bond from which we need to be freed.
Oh how I appreciate that they opened their hearts and lives! Not only did it help me to be able to experience true freedom, but it also lit a fire for me to share my heart with others as well – to share the dangers of these temptations and encourage marriages! What a blessing!
I can’t recommend Pulling Back the Shades enough! If you’re considering seeing the upcoming movie PLEASE read this first. Even if you have already (or maybe especially if you have already) read 50 Shades of Grey read Pulling Back the Shades. Maybe you’re afraid of what it might say – please read it. It will empower you with information on what it is to be a woman and enjoy Godly intimacy (which is meant to be fun and exciting, too!) with your spouse.
Pulling Back the Shades can be purchased at Family Christian for $11.99.
Stay tuned because I will be hosting a giveaway for a copy of the book as well!