I’ve had sleep issues as long as I can remember. The chronic fatigue came later in life along with my diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. Although I am more tired now than I was then the sleep problems have been ongoing since I was a child. I’ve always had a hard time sleeping. I’ve also always had a hard time waking up. Waking up for school was the worst. Having my sister nag me about getting up drove me crazy! I just wanted to sleep! Of course, I had to go to school, so I’m glad she did! When it was the weekends, though, I could sleep well 10am – sometimes even past noon!
Fast forward to now where I have had an unstable relationship with sleep for the past 3 years due to our youngest not sleeping well. I’m sure it has changed my sleep habits some, but some things didn’t really change. I’ve always been a night owl, and I’ve never been a morning person. He is finally starting to sleep better, and we’re hoping that his surgery was the last step to resolve his sleep issues (because now he can breathe better!), but I’m still not sleeping. I have no reason to not be sleeping. I’m tired and frustrated. Sometimes I stay up and just enjoy the quiet time and get some things done. Other times I really TRY to sleep but get frustrated by laying in bed for HOURS not able to fall asleep.
I wish I could just fall asleep like this:
Such is insomnia, right? Do you want to know something amusing about it all, though? After trying to deal with my headaches naturally I decided I needed medical help. So, my doctor has put me on medications. One is a medication I had taken for my Fibromyalgia before I went off the medications, but he thought it would be a good idea to help the tension that initially triggers the headaches. The other is a migraine medication to prevent migraines (not the type you take when you get one). His big concern was that both of the medications make a person tired. So, he wanted me to start on a low dose of both, move up on one, and then if things go well but I still need a little more relief move up on the other.
At my follow-up appointment I had to see a different doctor (which unfortunately is common here but rather annoying when it’s for a follow-up appointment), and I explained I had already moved up to the maximum dose my doctor had suggested for the one medication and was ready to move up on the other. I explained that it didn’t make me get so tired I couldn’t be woken up. In fact, I still couldn’t even fall asleep – or stay asleep when I finally did. He looked at me like I was NUTS! I’m not kidding! His facial expression was priceless. He then explained that the dose I am on of that medication he has given to patients to SEDATE THEM! Here I am saying I don’t even feel tired when I take it! PLUS I’m taking another medication with it that is “supposed” to make people tired!
Well, I have moved up on that medication as well since the deep sleep issue wasn’t a problem, and I’m sure that doctor would be amused to know that I’m still not able to fall asleep. I thought I knew what insomnia was before, but I think THIS is the true definition of insomnia. What do you think?
I’m committing to posting every day as part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge!
Trying something new tonight
So tonight I am attempting something new in an effort to “reclaim our bed” from our toddler. Although I do love and encourage co-sleeping, he is now 28 months, and after many discussions with my concerned husband we have decided it’s best to get him used to sleeping in his own room. I know it won’t be easy! He was actually sleeping in his crib before we moved, though not for longer than 3-4 hours. He still doesn’t usually sleep for longer than 3-4 hour stretches and can’t fall back asleep without help be it nursing (typically) or rubbing, patting, etc. We’ve been told this is fairly common with children with Sensory Processing Disorder and Occupational Therapy will probably help, though they do still want to do a sleep study as well.
So how’s it going? Well, it started out GREAT! He always knows when it’s bed time because we have a bed time routine. The problem has been he doesn’t stay in his room after. We’ve gotten well-meaning comments like just “making” him stay there, but I’m not quite sure they understand how intense that is for a child with SPD. It’s kind of like saying let’s close you in a room filled with something you fear – snakes, spiders, etc. You aren’t going to eventually submit and calm down – you’re going to continue to have a racing heart, panic, etc. You can’t just tell your body to relax and go to sleep when your senses are in overload. Well, that’s how he feels every time. Horrible, huh? Imagine how I felt when I learned this after doing my research about his sleeping issues knowing I DID try this approach! It was awful, and I felt even worse after learning what I put him through! 🙁
So, I now have a blow up mattress in his room, so I can nurse him comfortably in his room (I tried laying in his toddler bed before and that is definitely NOT comfortable!) and stay with him until he is asleep. I’ll bring him back in here when he wakes up each time. I may not get sleep myself for a while, but I’m not getting much now as it is! Haha He started off falling asleep right away, and I was SO excited! It was short lived, though. Now at 11pm? Here he is:
*Sigh* He’s tried to leave a couple of times, but since I am in here that is one thing I won’t give in to. Tonight is going more like I expected in the beginning, but I know if I stick with it plus with Occupational Therapy (hopefully) starting soon it will get better! For now, I’m thankful for my iPad and this cool app to post to my blog! 🙂
Busy and Tired
Well, I have desperately needed to update the website – from adding widgets, to adding pages, and just plain keeping things up to date. With a stomach bug going through our house not only was I down and out for a few days, but it also made me realize how much more unpacking I need to do! I know that sounds like a strange segue, but seriously it was miserable trying to take care of everybody (and myself) when it’s just not “comfortable” here. Having so many unpacked boxes makes me feel crowded and unsettled! So when I finally got to feeling better I decided to cut our homeschool days short and focus on unpacking more! The kids – particularly “the princess” as I have lovingly nicknamed our daughter in public venues for privacy reasons – has been loving the extra time to work on her drawing and coloring skills! Wow! What a little artist she is! She just turned 4 in December, and I was surprised at how quickly and easily she picked up drawing and coloring! It’s beautiful! I should definitely share some of her artwork on here! She is seriously just like me, though, which means she’s a bit of a perfectionist, which can be frustrating when you’re 4 and learning something new! If it doesn’t go “just right” she gets quite a bit upset! We’ll work through that, though! It definitely doesn’t give me much independence as far as being able to do other things when they’re working on schoolwork. B (our oldest son) is on the Autism Spectrum and is also very particular about things and definitely requires a lot more “hands on” help with his work. So on a typical homeschool day I can’t get much else done as far as housework, business, etc. That is why I decided we should cut our days a little shorter until the unpacking is done because it NEEDS to get done!
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This is an example of how mooselion sleeps (yes – that’s my bed and my pillow). He has claimed my space!!
AND this represents a pause – and a great example of what I’m talking about! I started this post at 2am, and mooselion (our toddler) woke up, and I couldn’t get him back to sleep. I can’t even get something done uninterrupted in the middle of the night right now or even sleep – as you can see. LOL It can be hard, and it’s definitely stressful, but I remind myself how truly blessed I am with 3 beautiful children and blessed to be able to stay home with them. So maybe I’m not hitting my personal business goals right now, and maybe I’m not getting the house unpacked as quickly as I would like, but I have no doubt I’m exactly where I need to be at this point in time in my life. Sometimes God calls us to SLOW DOWN – perhaps to “live in the moment” or perhaps because something in my life needs more time and attention right now, and without the craziness I wouldn’t take enough time to slow down and realize it. All I know is it’s not by mistake. Nothing is, so I just have to take it one day at a time. When I try to do things on MY time it NEVER works. Seriously, NEVER. So although it’s taken me a while to grasp that I now know I just need to relax and remember God is in control!
I wrote a pretty in-depth personal blog the other day. Although I am going to make this website more “personal,” I’m still writing the MORE personal stuff on my personal blog. I figure if people are on this site due to business reasons they probably don’t want to read about our crazy life IN DEPTH, and I figure if they’re here because they want to connect to another homeschooling mom – again, there’s probably a limit. But I will share links from time to time for those that DO want to read more about our “Unique Family.” Whenever I get around to finally adding pages to the site I will probably add a link to it as well! Here is the actual post I’m speaking of: http://our-unique-family.blogspot.com/2012/01/moody.html Thanks for all the support and love along the way to those that have always been loyal friends, clients, fans, etc. and WELCOME to those that are new! I hope you enjoy sharing our journey! Please leave a comment and share your website, blog, etc. as well! 🙂
Be blessed!