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Never Alone

February 21, 2015 by Emilee Evans

Sometimes I have a lot to say. In fact, you should see how many drafts I have just waiting to bloom into full posts! Sometimes I type up posts and then delete them because it was something I needed to get out, but not something I think is right to post – at least not now. Those drafts, though? I hope to post them. I hope to post them soon. I hope to develop them into the full thoughts I have going through my head that I make notes on hoping not to lose it all because right now losing thoughts is exactly what is happening. I can’t even come up with simple words sometimes. My sentences end abruptly because I can’t think of words.
I had another hard week. I’m not adjusting well to being back on the medication for my headaches. I can’t even say whether or not they’re helping my headaches because it was also my “bad week,” which also triggers headaches and all kinds of pain and problems. I was in bed for two days. I’m still feeling overwhelmed from how much I’ve fallen behind, and I’m still feeling tired and dizzy. I just want to regain my strength. I just want to feel “normal,” whatever my “normal” is. I want to go back to the gym. I want to go to church regularly. I want to get on here and happily write – not dread it because I have to do it.
I’m depressed. I know it’s a side effect of one of the medications, and I’m debating just getting off of them altogether, but having debilitating headaches every day isn’t ideal either. Am I not giving myself enough time to adjust? It could be better once I’m back into my routine again – especially working out regularly again. It worries me, though, since I’ve battled depression since I was a teenager. I also fight with Seasonal Affective Disorder. I was feeling fine for a while, though, and now this.
Never Alone
I want to get into a good routine where I post content more regularly because I do, indeed, have a lot to say, but right now, I just don’t feel like saying it. I feel discouraged. Last year was hard, and this was supposed to be my come back. Instead I feel like I’m stuck in a rut I can’t get out of. Where do I go from here?
Then, last night I was listening to music and one of my favorite songs came on: “Never Alone” by Barlow Girl – and it said everything I could possibly say in that moment. I’m not sure I ever mentioned it, but I love to sing. If I could sing my heart out the words to that song right now I would because that’s it! No matter how I feel there is one thing that I always know. I’m never alone. I cling to that. I hold on to that promise. Even when it’s hard I know He is with me. He loves me, and I have a purpose. That gives me peace.
If you’re facing a hard time right now, I pray you stand on His promise that He will never leave you, never forsake you. He is always with you. I know it’s hard to see it in the storm. I’ve hit my knees and begged to just get through this, and even though I can’t see Him, I know He’s there. I’m never alone. You’re never alone.
 

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Filed Under: Faith Tagged With: faith, never alone

Comments

  1. Alicia Owen says

    February 25, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    Have you tried Vitamin D and/or St.John’s Wort for your SAD? I started taking both this year and have noticed a significant difference! I can actually get motivated to get things that need to be done done and don’t feel so apathetic. 🙂 I get grumpy again if I miss a day for whatever reason.
    Alicia Owen recently posted…Greenair SpaVapor Touch Oil Diffuser GiveawayMy Profile

    • Emilee says

      February 25, 2015 at 11:15 pm

      Yes, I take Vitamin D daily. I haven’t tried St. John’s Wort, though. I’ll look into it. Honestly, though, I was feeling fine until I started the meds, so I’m leaning more towards that being the culprit, though having SAD probably isn’t helping the matter!
      Emilee recently posted…Encouraging Positive Behavior with Bear on the Chair #BearontheChairMy Profile

  2. Jerry Marquardt says

    May 5, 2015 at 9:18 pm

    I would like to thank you for being there, we have some shared beliefs and faiths and I am there with you. I appreciate having some supporters in the areas of faith.

    • Emilee says

      May 6, 2015 at 11:12 pm

      You’re welcome! Thank-you for being a regular reader!

  3. Elizabeth H. says

    July 14, 2015 at 12:00 am

    I am very familiar with Barlow Girl. Love the song “Never Alone”. Music and my faith mean a lot to me. Sometimes to get motivated, I listen to inspirational music and songs.

    • Emilee says

      July 14, 2015 at 12:08 am

      Yes, I do, too! Just yesterday we were cleaning while listening to Christian music.

  4. Elizabeth Johnson says

    November 19, 2015 at 9:09 pm

    This is a lovely song, and your reason for listening to it is very touching. That’s such a great message to send out to people.

  5. Linda Manns Linneman says

    January 12, 2016 at 5:58 pm

    This is so true. I don’t know what I would do without God in my life. I have been through alot in my life, the biggest being the death of my youngest son. God was with me through it all, both the good and bad. I hope your headaches and depression improve soon. I will be praying for you

    • Emilee says

      January 12, 2016 at 9:10 pm

      Thank-you Linda. I’m so sorry to hear you lost your son. God is definitely faithful to be with us even through the hard times.

  6. Jeffrey says

    January 19, 2016 at 6:34 am

    I wish you well with dealing with your depression.

    • Emilee says

      January 19, 2016 at 11:37 am

      Thank-you!

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