I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others. Usually how I end up feeling is not so good, so I’m not sure why I do it! I don’t like when others do it to me, so why do I do it to myself? Ultimately, I think it’s a rhetorical question. It’s just part of my personality. I know it doesn’t HAVE to be, though, and it’s something I’m working on changing! My comparing goes far beyond looks, success, parenting, etc. (things with which I notice many people using comparisons). Plus they’re not comparisons for motivation sake. I often feel defeated rather than motivated.
Lately, the target of the comparison lies right here on this site – my blog. I often feel I’m not “good enough” or “interesting enough” to have engaging content. Though I enjoy writing and often get compliments on my writing I still have a hard time with this. I read so many great blogs with great content. Parenting blogs with great parenting tips and tricks; homeschooling blogs with great projects, ideas, and free printouts; homemaking blogs with organizational tips, recipes, etc.; marriage blogs with great advice and support; military blogs with great tips and support; couponing blogs with great coupons; Eco-friendly blogs with great “green living” tips and tricks; Faith-based blogs with great Bible verses applied to real-life situations and moving content; Review and giveaway blogs with great and numerous reviews and giveaways; and so on! I want to have a little bit of some of these, and I want it to be good!
This is where the problem comes in. Who or what defines “good?” What am I allowing to define “good?” Numbers mostly. Oddly enough, as much as I’m letting the numbers bother me I’m also constantly arguing against them and saying “good” goes far beyond numbers alone. I can be complicated – even to myself! Haha Truthfully speaking, though, numbers DO matter in certain regards, which is why I think it’s easy to get “hung up” on them.
But the truth is – to whom does it matter? What am I going to allow to define what I do. Isn’t what I do an extension of me? Who defines ME? To be completely open I have always allowed others to define me. I’m not a perfect homemaker; my husband does a huge majority of the cooking in our home; I’m an intelligent person without a college degree; our kids have special needs and our life may be chaos, but I LOVE them; I’m a homeschooling mom that’s not very crafty or creative (yes, despite having a sewing/crafting business! haha); our marriage hasn’t always been perfect, but God has been merciful to honor our commitment to each other and pull us through those hard times; I’m human and despite my faith I sometimes have a hard time coming up with the right words and thoughts to convey; I am striving for eco-friendly living, but I still have a long way to go; and I am a great writer and very thorough with reviews, but sometimes my “numbers” hold me back from getting chosen for reviews and giveaways.
Do you know what? That is all OK. Because this is me, and this is exactly where I am meant to be in my life. I may not always know how much, but I do know God has used ordinary me to impact the lives of others. I know I have gone out of my way and helped some businesses gain loyal customers. I know there are other wives out there that need to hear that they may not be perfect, and that’s OK. I know there are moms out there losing sleep because their houses are complete chaos – and they need to know that somebody else understands and is making it through! There are MANY people out there looking for someone who is “real.” I’m obviously not saying all those fantastic people out there aren’t “real.” In fact, they ARE real, and they are REALLY good at what they do, and that’s what makes them great. I’m not them, though, and to compare myself and what I do to them is not only unnecessary – it can be damaging. I wasn’t meant to be anybody else, I was meant to be ME. And I am good at being me! I am good at the things I do even if it’s not “as” good as the things others do. I enjoy being a little good at a lot of things rather than really good at one particular thing. I love sharing that with others!
This is a song by Barlow Girl that has always touched me. The song itself is more referring to physical appearance, but I think the message is important and can apply to more!