My word of the year for 2016 was Contentment. My biggest focus was to stop comparing myself and my work (like my blog) to others. Because, let’s face it, if you’re comparing who you are and what you do to everyone else there is always going to be someone or something that is better. Probably multiple things.
The reality is, though, nobody is just like you. You offer something unique. You are exactly where God wants you to be right now. Maybe that’s hard to swallow sometimes, but He always has your best interest in mind. When I truly started acknowledging that I definitely saw a change in myself. I was happier (and less irritable) and I truly felt good about what I was doing. Of course, contentment is a continuous journey, and I pray to continue striving for contentment this year as well.
Word of the Year for 2017 – Beginning
Why “beginning?” Well, I mentioned there would be some changes this year. Changes on the blog and changes in my life. I was somewhat vague, and although it’s still not the time to talk about things in depth, I can definitely say the end of 2016 shook my world in a way I never imagined. In the span of the last three months I have felt a myriad of emotions from devastation to disgust as I walk through this trial and forge ahead as a single mom.
The most important emotion I have felt, though, is hope. I feel so incredibly weak, yet I feel like this is the strongest I’ve ever been. When I slipped to the end of my rope, I cried out to God for his strength, and He was faithful. He continues to be faithful. So I’ve picked up the pieces of my broken heart and embraced what 2017 has in store – making the most of this journey I’m on. This new journey. The beginning. My beginning.
Telling My Heart to Beat Again
I was really struggling with what my word for 2017 is/would be. I thought about redemption because I do truly believe God is going to make something beautiful from this mess. I do believe it will be a year of redemption as well. One song that has really been resonating with me, though, is “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again.” I can’t describe how I feel right now better than that song. That’s where I am right now. I’m at that place where I can begin to heal and tell my heart to beat again.
In the song it says “Beginning. Let that word wash over you.” I knew I needed to do that. I experienced the end of something that was a huge part of me. I lost my spouse and my best friend. I was left without a vehicle and no money. I received no financial support for two months. This blog was my only source of income, and it’s not much. I had been a stay at home mom for over 7 years and had a surgery in front of me and couldn’t just get a job. I was devastated in so many ways. Where else is there to go? What else is there to do? I knew I had to essentially embrace the end of this chapter of my life, trust God and walk into the beginning of a new chapter.
An Unexpected Beginning
And when I let “beginning” wash over me and surrendered my life into His hands He did amazing things. Many people in the body of Christ blessed me from helping me find resources, helping financially, offering to watch the kids and making sure the kids had everything they needed (as well as amazing Christmas gifts). I have been absolutely blown away by God’s provision. Seeing the body of Christ come together in such an amazing way has been a blessing in so many ways.
Plus, I found a job before I had even started looking! It’s perfect for me! I had been doing freelance writing with Findlay Family for just over a year, and the position of Assignment Editor had just opened up. It is part-time, and I’m able to work from home (mostly). I can continue to blog here on Pea of Sweetness as well as work on my book, which will have a new chapter. Plus, I can continue to homeschool the kids.
So here I go. This is the beginning. The beginning of my life as a single homeschooling mom, blogger, freelance writer, author, craft/sewing shop owner, and local paper Assignment Editor. It’s all in God’s hands, and I know He is writing a beautiful chapter from this beginning.
This is my beginning.
And it’s beautiful.
Special note: Although it’s not yet time to share the details of this journey, as a Christian (especially one that encourages holiness and happiness in marriage) I do feel I need to explain that I still believe that and always will. Everything I’ve shared on here has always been genuine. For now I will simply say I was shocked and devastated, but I do know God has amazing plans for this beginning.
Word of the Year 2017 Link Up